Spring Cleaning: Hurt and Hurt People
Spring has sprung in my neck of the woods. Spring or Vernal Equinox in the northern hemisphere happens around March 21st. It is the time when the sun moves north across the celestial equator, making night and day of approximately equal length all over the earth. The same thing happens at the same time in the opposite hemisphere around September 22nd (Autumnal Equinox).
The Spring time is a time of rebirth, growth, and starting new in nature. You may find yourself experiencing these similar feelings or changes during this time. It is when some may start to feel or celebrate "the New Year." This is a time to do spring cleaning, clean out your closet-- change out seasonal clothing, let go of things, people and ideas/thoughts/beliefs that no longer serve you.
This first April blog and Monday Morning Intentions will address dealing with hurt and anger and blooming from pain.
What happens to a sore that is not healing...what happens when the body does not remove waste? You know, there is a bigger problem taking place in the body. For your body to operate at optimal functioning, toxins need to be regularly removed. The body has its natural healing system and can heal wounds on its own. A similar process takes place emotionally-- trauma that goes unattended to, anger that is unresolved and pain that is not released they all manifest and can lead to forms of sickness. Recently read a quote that was so on point-- "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." So, let's spend some time this Spring, detoxing-- healing hurt and releasing anger. Emotions are meant to flow freely; to rise and fall without being held. Holding on to heaviness can get tiring.
So let's free up the mind, body and spirit by identifying a few areas or factors that may be hurt, trauma or anger manifesting, and how to identify this in others you attract, and choose to entertain:
Hurt people hurt people: so you have heard the saying "hurt people, hurt people." Personally, I cannot say every hurt person projects their pain, but you have probably seen this play out before you in others or seen this in your own behaviors. When someone is hurting, it is easy to want to inflict hurt on the person perceived as causing it, on random people or towards the self because of the effect pain can have on the hurt. Sometimes, it is best to just keep to yourself-- deal with yourself (get the help you need) until you are in a better place emotionally to where you are not projecting your pain and anger towards yourself or others.
Easily Angered or a Short Fuse: you have been around this person, you may have asked "Dude why the (abusive) yelling and escalating!?" This person is easily irritated and constantly agitated; a pot of boiling water bubbling over. Whichever way you take it, something is concerning about a person who is constantly easily agitated-- "what's going on bro?" Some people grow up in homes where abusive yelling and escalating are norms, so this is the type of communication style they have integrated in to their interaction with others. If you have had a similar upbringing, it can be easy for you to attract this type of dynamic in to your friendships and intimate relationships.
Guilt and Forgiveness: guilt and unforgiveness can keep you in your pain for a very long time. While there is no set timeframe to heal, at some point healing "should" occur-- just as how cuts on the body naturally heal themselves. Understanding the role your ego plays in your healing process can help you to heal sooner than later. Once you have taken responsibility for your role in hurting others or yourself, the blooming process or rebirth period starts. Unfortunately, an unchecked ego may delay this transformation-- causing you to over extend your time feeling guilty and not forgiving yourself. No one is perfect-- as much as you may have perceived being hurt by others, you may have played a role in the hurt of another. The ego wants you to stay in a negative place as if somehow continuing to feel bad will make you feel like a better person, because you feel bad. Explore any responsibility on your part, apologize to yourself and/or others, seek out a healthy outlet for expression-- these are some first steps to your transformation.
Unhappiness: In a state of unhappiness, it is not unusual to feel as if life, the higher powers or whoever is against you and is messing up things in your life. Therefore, causing you to be on guard and inciting defensiveness and anger-- projecting your unhappiness on to others. During this state you may find it challenging to celebrate the victories of others. As your own issues surface or re-surface, there can be a tendency to lash out. Become aware of the ways in which you "lash out" as this may be very hurtful to yourself and others.
Check in with yourself by finding out what is the bigger or deeper issue, if you find yourself constantly in any of the above modes. Address the root issue so that you can bloom with ease and transform your pain. Remember, "April showers bring May flowers."