I once spoke with a woman who felt that she would never experience being loved, when in fact she had a handful of people who were constantly in her corner. At the time of our conversation she was at a low point in her life and felt like the universe was against her. She began to project the way she felt about herself, as the way others felt about her. This woman's experience speaks to the human experience. I am almost certain most if not everyone has been at this place one or more times-- emotions begin to get the best of you, then you start to see things based on your frame of mind. Like this woman, your thoughts may become irrational by believing you are unlovable, will not experience love or no one will love you. As a result of this you may isolate yourself, and cut yourself off from the love and support that you are really desiring.
Really, the issue at hand is the lack of love you feel towards yourself when you may not be feeling like your best self. Ironically, these are the times you need to love up on yourself even more than you would on your better days. Depending on the level of your general self-confidence, low or challenging times can trigger a negative self-image and then lead to self-rejection. These times can be an extraordinary opportunity to tap in to deepening your experience with love, by embracing an unconditional love approach for yourself. You are still you on your not so great days-- same body, same mind, same being. Conscious and purposeful action will be required to embrace an unconditional love approach for yourself. Here are a few ways you can make love for yourself when you start believing love in your life is conditional:
Challenge your irrational beliefs about love: explore why you feel unlovable and then make a list of why you are lovable. If you have trouble coming up with reasons why you are lovable, involve your loved ones by asking them why or what they love about you, then embrace these truths about yourself by choosing to believe them.
Know you do not need reasons: we live in a society where most people need to know an answer or need an explanation why. While coming up with a list is a good way of identifying the reasons why you are lovable, understanding your inherent value is enough to not have a list of why. However, this can be tough for people who suffer with low self-esteem most of their lives. If you have trouble understanding your inherent value, reach out to a professional or seek out the appropriate assistance to address this.
Summon unconditional love in to your life: create unconditional love by choosing to believe life is for you-- that the Divine Source, the Universe/Cosmos, your Spirit Guides, God, your Ancestors and your loved ones are for you all the time. I know this can be easier said than done. But really, if you live life believing it is against you, this already places you ten steps behind. Believing life or your higher power(s) will have your back, instantly increases hope and optimism that you can and will move through your challenge or low time.
Love is an energy that is created. You can create it for yourself, and share it with others. "Self-love is the source of all our other loves" (Pierre Corneille). The unconditional love you give to yourself will determine how you experience the world. Make love for yourself and find that it will spread in your life abundantly and unconditionally.