According to the dictionary quality time is, “time spent in giving another person one's undivided attention in order to strengthen a relationship.” After completing the book, ‘The 5 Love Languages’ by Dr. Gary Chapman I think I may be trilingual.
Being able to resonate with multiple languages I assume would make it easier for needs to be met in a relationship— not that this would mean the relationship is conflict free. Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Quality Time stood out for me, but after much thought and discussion Quality Time seems to be my primary love language going by Dr. Chapman’s theory.
So, what does it mean for you to spend quality time with your significant other or a loved one?
Nowadays this can be a challenge to some due to technological devices. Simply sitting on the couch watching YouTube from your phone or staring at the television while your loved one puts away clean dishes and washes dirty dishes does not necessarily qualify as quality time. Do you have each other’s undivided attention? Making eye contact while speaking to someone then asking them relevant questions pertaining to their topic shows that you are attentive and engaged in what they have to say. This is much different from trying to speak to them while scrolling through the phone.
Compromising by doing something your loved one enjoys, which may not particularly be your thing. Take turns doing this so that there is a clear give and take in the relationship. Doing this shows your loved one you are willing to spend time with them doing something they value. This shows that you really care about the other and want to see them enjoying their life.
Really setting aside the time. Work schedules also pose a challenge. It is interesting how someone can go to 40 hours a week job, be overworked, underpaid and at times may be even undervalued, yet still perform the duties of the job well or above average. Only then, to go home and consistently perform below average at a place where the people love them unconditionally. Now rest after a long day’s or week’s work is necessary. However, would you like a happy home to come home to where the relationships are being nurtured or a tense environment to come home to after a stressful day/week of work? Really set aside time to give your loved ones your undivided attention, the way you set aside time to show up for the job (where people have conditional expectations of you) each work day.
Spend some quality time with a person in your life that means a lot to you, that you have not been nurturing the relationship the way you need to. This will do a world of good not only for the person, but the time spent together may fill your “love tank” as well.